I don't want to be the author of my own life

Writer’s Block

Posted on Posted in Confessions, Latest News

I am not an author or a poet, which I am sure you’ll notice in this blog post, but I would say that I can relate a little to ol’ Pullman when he says: “Writing is difficult. The most you can hope for is a day when it goes reasonably easily.”

It all started when we were preparing for the Swazi outreach. I was put in charge of prayer. I thought it would be fine, I know how to pray after all! I was told to come up with a few prayer points for the booklet that will be handed out on the outreach. Easy right? Wrong. For some reason I found myself sitting before my computer day after day (not exaggerating!) with…nothing. I would write a few sentences that sounded good, holy even, but they still didn’t feel ‘right’. To be honest it had really started stressing me. I was struggling to sleep (still not exaggerating!) and stopped eating (okay, exaggerating..). One day as I climbed into bed I started speaking to God about it, expressing my fear of not knowing what to write. When suddenly it hit me: this was the first time I had asked him what HE wants me to write. I had been trying to do it without him! Suddenly the ideas just starting flowing, I grabbed my phone, opened a new note and started typing. God unblocked something in me, and you know what it was? Myself! By trying to do something on your own (consciously or not) you put up a big fat wall in your way.

This had me thinking broader and at life in general. So many of us are trying to do things by our own strength and when we invite God in, get his input, then our lives truly begin flowing freely. I don’t want to try be the author of my own life. (I’ll have writers block for days!) No, I’ve decided God’s definitely got this one. Now I want to ask you: have you decided who your author is going to be?

-By Christa Schutz (OT student by day, astronaut suit designer by night) follow Christa on Twitter

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